.

I do not know why, but I insist on believing. you realize he is not the same thing and for once, I'll get burned again. but life is so ... and sometimes I prefer to omit a few brief moments of happiness. but oh, how I wish these were eternal. I have lived here agony.this isn't easy. this house, this city, this life, I'm tired of it all ... I just wish I could live. and wanted it to be reciprocal, wish you would live with me, take life on, our way, and fuck the rest. but nothing is so easy, and this time I know I'm going down a path of no return. after that, nothing else is equal. I do not think I can overcome. because it 's difficult. I'm tired of this life, but that's how I'll go on living. what can I do if I am so, so masochistic?

hm.

Acho que vou reescrever aquela história que comecei aqui há cerca de um ano. Infelizmente, não tenho mais nenhum capítulo dela, mas me lembro bastante de como era. Enfim, o que decidir, posto aqui.

.

You know, it's not easy. To tell you the truth, I don't understand what is going on. My feelings, my hopes, my desires... all is confuse... I am confused. I do love you, but I know that I couldn't. I shouldn't love. It's wrong. It's a bad thing and it's making me sick and lets me sad. It all is a big crap! I just want understand everything. My life is becoming crap. No, my life sucks, all the time. I do not like to see the best side of the things. Being like a pessimistic person sometimes is good. Anyway i want that this world of fuck go to hell. I do not care anymore. If it is the end of the world, it's fine. I'll die, you will die, everybody will, and, we'll all go to hell. Together. Or not.